The Art of Effective Mentorship
Empower, Don’t Enable: Why Less Is Often More
Months ago I was reading The Software Engineer’s Guidebook By Gergely Orosz and came across a paragraph that was very familiar to me in the past.
Being an efficient mentor is not about solving other people’s problems. It’s about helping them grow so they can solve their own problems. (Page 173)
When I was 12 years old, I had a mentor who helped me find my way in the technology career path, get familiar with environments, and understand what was the best for me in that period of time. I was very curious and asked many questions every day. Most of the time, the answer I received was, “The controller is broken.” In the context of video games, it’s like being good at playing, but the game controller is the issue, so don’t bother if you don’t know how to play! That was the response I often heard intially. At that time, I didn’t understand how helpful it was. My mentor didn’t give me ready-to-use answers; instead, he always pushed me to think twice, do more research, come up with multiple solutions, and even try them to see which one is better. Once I had everything ready, then he would answer my questions because by then, my question wasn’t simple, and I had proven that I knew what I was asking, but needed his expertise to make a better decision and choose a better direction. I remember when I was trying to install Windows 98 and I needed to prepare a disk for the installation, but I didn’t know which option should I choose and I also didn’t want to wipe out and format my entire disk because my family was keeping their digital pictures there — In the end, I chose the right way. The outcome of this for me was a significant improvement in my ways of critical thinking and decision-making.
In the world of mentorship, there’s a common misconception that a good mentor is one who always has the answers. Many assume that an effective mentor is someone who can swoop in, solve problems with ease, and provide solutions on a silver platter. However, the true essence of mentorship lies in something far more profound and empowering. It’s not about solving other people’s problems but about guiding them to develop the skills, confidence, and mindset to solve their own.
The Temptation of Easy Answers
When you mentor someone, it can be incredibly tempting to share your knowledge and experience immediately. After all, you’ve been through similar situations, you know the pitfalls, and you’re eager to help your mentee avoid unnecessary struggles. However, by quickly offering solutions, you may inadvertently deprive them of valuable learning experiences.
Mentorship is not about providing shortcuts…
It’s about nurturing growth. If you continuously solve problems for your mentee, they might become dependent on you, unable to think critically or make decisions on their own. Worse yet, they may start to doubt their own abilities, thinking that they always need someone else to provide the answers.
The Art of Delayed Solutions
One of the most effective strategies in mentorship is the art of delayed solutions. This approach involves holding back your answers, allowing your mentee to grapple with the problem at hand. By doing so, you encourage them to engage in critical thinking, explore different possibilities, and develop problem-solving skills.
Delaying your input doesn’t mean abandoning your mentee or leaving them to flounder…
Instead, it’s about asking the right questions, providing gentle guidance, and nudging them in the right direction. This method fosters independence and resilience, as your mentee learns to trust their own judgment and abilities.
Asking the Right Questions
The foundation of delayed solutions lies in asking thoughtful, open-ended questions. These questions should challenge your mentee to reflect on the issue, consider various perspectives, and identify potential solutions. For example, instead of saying, “Here’s how you should approach this problem,” try asking, “What options do you think you have? What are the potential outcomes of each?” — It’s what I mentioned at the beginning about pushing me to do more research and ensure I know what I’m asking or looking for.
By posing these questions, you encourage your mentee to think deeply and critically, leading them to insights they might not have discovered if you had simply provided the answer.
Building Confidence Through Experience
One of the greatest gifts you can give as a mentor is the confidence to tackle challenges independently. When mentees are allowed to struggle, experiment, and occasionally fail, they gain valuable experience. They learn that it’s okay to make mistakes and that each setback is an opportunity to grow.
Over time, your mentee will develop a toolkit of problem-solving strategies, and with your guidance, they’ll refine their ability to assess situations, make decisions, and take action. This confidence will serve them well, not only in the specific context of your mentorship but in all areas of their life and career.
Knowing When to Step In
While delayed solutions are a powerful tool, it’s important to recognize that there are moments when stepping in is necessary. If your mentee is truly stuck, overwhelmed, or at risk of making a critical mistake, offering guidance or a solution might be the best course of action. The key is to find the right balance — knowing when to let your mentee struggle a bit and when to provide the support they need.
Effective mentorship is not about holding back indefinitely…
It’s about empowering your mentee at the right time, in the right way. When you do share your solutions, frame them as suggestions rather than directives. This approach reinforces the idea that your mentee is in control of their own learning journey.
The Long-Term Impact of Effective Mentorship
When you resist the urge to serve up answers on a silver platter, you’re doing more than just helping someone with their immediate problems. You’re investing in their long-term growth and development. You’re teaching them to think critically, act confidently, and navigate challenges with resilience.
Ultimately, the goal of mentorship is not to create followers who rely on your guidance but to develop leaders who can think for themselves and inspire others. By embracing the art of delayed solutions, you help your mentee unlock their full potential and prepare them to face future challenges with confidence and competence.
So, the next time you find yourself on the brink of offering a solution, take a step back. Ask a question, offer encouragement, and give your mentee the space to discover the answer on their own. In doing so, you’ll be fostering not just immediate success, but lifelong growth.
Thanks for reading❤️
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